One New Year's Resolution...

I try not to make New Year's Resolutions because I rarely follow through with them, but one that I want to at least attempt is to update this blog with my progress at the very least once a week if I can't every few days. I need to hold myself accountable more often than I do.

My arms are so shaky

I can barely move right now. LOL. That's okay though. I needed a good workout. I am the first to admit that I am one of those people who has a hard time during the holidays with feeling very down. Today was a major combination of stress, depression and just blahhhhhh. When I got to the gym I was just so meh that I had no desire to workout, but I had promised that I would be there to workout.

I went to body flow and did that, then went down to work out. I am glad that I did. It was nice to meet a few new people and work with Rikki. Definitely an inspiration there. Right now, though, I am so tired. My arms are shaky. I started giggling (earning an odd look from Anubis too) because I was trying to drink my milk and I noticed that my arm was trembling.

It was good to work out. It did help a little, though my mind started working non-stop on the way home. I just need to keep plugging away. I'll get there.

Tonight I have to wear a monitor on my finger while using my CPAP. Yeah cause THAT'LL be comfortable. Ah well on that end. At least I am using it regularly again and it's helping. Still tired a lot, but I think that's stress. That'll start to work out too as I get to the gym more like I need to.

That person…

I didn’t work out today, which I am bummed at myself about but my leg started bothering me yet again. I wish the cold didn’t affect that old injury so much. Tomorrow I will go for Zumba.

I met with a woman for my fitness evaluation, something I wasn’t *entirely* looking forward to because I’ve not been the best about my workouts and such. However, once I met her I was very glad to have it. I knew from my last Fitness4Ever appointment that she had lost quite a bit of weight and then became a fitness coach. So I figured it would help me be motivated. After I saw her, I knew it was definitely possible.

Talking to her was great as well. We didn’t get to do the fitness evaluation because of the computer updating and taking forever, so we just talked about different things. It was really nice to talk to someone who has been there and managed to take the weight off and has kept it off. It gives me a lot of motivation to get there and to realize that if I have a set back that it’s not the end of the world.

I’m going to work out with her on Thursday with a few others that she works out with too. So it should be fun.

As I was driving home, I was thinking about something. I look at others who are extremely overweight and do nothing to change themselves and I sit there and think that I don’t understand how they can allow themselves to get that heavy and not do anything about it at all. And I say that I never want to become that. Then I realized that I never want to become the person that others point to and say they don’t understand how I allow myself to get that heavy and not do anything about it. And that they do not want to become what I am.

I would much rather be the person like the woman I met today. Someone that others look to and say, if she can do it, so can I.

Satisfaction is in how the clothes fit

Even if they are getting too big. Actually, I am quite happy. I bought a new winter jacket just before Christmas last year and I was *just* able to zip it, but I could tell it was on the tighter side. I’ve had it out for a couple weeks now to be ready for colder weather and I decided to wear it today since it went from a balmy 60 some degrees yesterday to 34 today. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the jacket was not only looser on me and that I could zip it up with out it being a bit too tight, I have enough room beneath it to layer if necessary.

I knew I was losing weight, I could see the difference even in pictures taken six months ago, but I don’t think you *really* know just how much until you try something on that you haven’t worn in awhile.

I’m rather proud of myself this week. I went to Zumba on Monday, introduced Alida to it, but then I also went yesterday. Granted, I had to leave the class 15 minutes before it ended because of my foot issues, but I still went more than once this week.

Keeping to a schedule has been difficult. My attempt to try and get into a normal routine is going to be, I think, circuit training Sun, Tues, Thurs with Body Flow then Zumba on Mon, Wed, Fri and Saturday as my rest day. I need to decide if I am going to go to circuit training tonight or wait to pick up on the routine on Sunday. I’ve been really tired lately and I have been having difficulty motivating myself to go do circuit training at all.

I think that I will forego circuit training tonight, motivate myself to go to Zumba on Friday, then start the “normal” routine on Sunday and stick to it. Sticking to it has been hard, but as I find more encouragements it’ll come easier. It’s just getting to the point of finding more encouragements.

I’ve been having issues with four plantars warts on the bottom of my right foot on the ball of my foot. That’s been a deterrent for me, unfortunately. They are EXTREMELY painful and since a lot of what I want to do is on my feet (ie. Zumba and body flow), it leaves me feeling less than enthused about putting myself through *that* pain in order to get the muscle pain of working out. I used some of the freeze off stuff last night, so we’ll see if that starts to work. I may end up having to go to the doctor to have them surgically removed. 'Til then, I am just suffering through the pain.

Getting back into it

Last week I didn’t get to the gym at all, except one day for an appointment, but otherwise I didn’t workout. Today I am making myself go back. I am definitely in a “Man, I really don’t want to go” frame of mind, but I know that is because I didn’t workout at all last week. I know that all this week and potentially the few days I can go next week, are going to be hard because I’ll have to make myself go and get back into the swing of things. I can’t let up now. So zumba tonight. I’d like to try other classes, but maybe I’ll see about doing something like body jam, which is… I think dancing with weights or circuits to music. Something like that. I know that tomorrow is also body flow.

Keep on pushin’ is the name of the game

I have been, unfortunately, rather lax in the things that I need to do in order to get fit. This has always been a problem for me. However, I realize my faults and I am going to work past them.

This week has been a crap shoot. I am ending on class and starting another, so I’ve had about 5-6 homework assignments due since Monday thru this Saturday. Plus I am traveling tonight for work to one of our hotels in order to attend a class with TripAdvisor tomorrow in NYC. When I get to the hotel, I may try and go down to their fitness room to at least walk on the treadmill, but depends on homework.

I have made a promise to myself that starting Monday I will be back on track with the gym. I need to be in order to shed this weight and get healthier. The difference I saw this weekend while hiking, regarding my stamina, just proved to me that I am going in the right direction.

Didn’t happen

Okay so I didn’t go to the gym after all last night. I am having issues with three plantars warts on the ball of my right foot and I was in a LOT of pain yesterday. When I put my shoes on to leave the office and head to the gym, my foot was quite swollen (which is odd), so I decided to make last night my rest night. Though I did get to break a bit of a sweat when I got home as I decided to rake and plant a few things.

 I’m not sure if I will be making zumba tonight, we shall see, but I AM going to hit up the body flow class tomorrow to check out the new music tracks they are going to start using. It’ll be a nice start to the day for me and then I shall go home to get some things straightened up since I have a new futon coming. It’s technically *here*, I need to pick it up by Nov. 19, but I want to clean the living room so I can get the current couch out of there and get the futon in. Oh and a Halloween party to go to tomorrow night.

Body flow night

Went to zumba only last night. Wonderful monthly things happened the night before and I decided that there was no way in HELL I was going to attempt anything in the water with that going on. So I decided to do zumba only.

 PROBABLY a good thing I did as I was zapped by the end. So I am going to have to rethink this back to back thing with aqua deep and zumba, at least for now. Once I start to get more into shape and my stamina increases I can do it. But this also means that I have to figure out a way to take both classes just not back to back. I’ll take a look at the schedule to see when aqua deep is offered at other times and attempt to go to those classes on M/W/F.

 Tonight is circuit training then body flow, which I really did enjoy so I am looking forward to tonight’s class. The only thing with body flow and zumba both is how much pain I am in with my foot. I apparently have plantar’s warts on the ball of my right foot. I am doing to OTC treatment wart remover, but I may have to go to the doctor to get them removed. I had five in a semi-circle, but the two smaller ones went away and now just the three larger ones are still there. OMG do they ever hurt. I suffer through with them as much as possible, and while it hurts, I do get through classes with them. It just makes some moves harder. Now there’s a lot of stepping and jumping, depending on the teacher, in zumba so that pressure causes issues for me. In body flow- we don’t wear shoes. I think tonight I am going to try and keep my socks on in order to keep the little wart remove pads on the bottom of my foot that sorta help cushion them, but the pain is still pretty bad. I’m limping a bit today because of it, however, I am not going to let it stop me from continuing the classes. It’ll just be easier when I finally can get them looked at and removed if the OTC stuff doesn’t work.

On the upside- I slept phenomenally again last night even with only getting about 6.5 hours because I went to bed so late due to getting homework done. So this is a good sign. I added just one more pillow to prop me up a bit more and it’s helped ease the lingering cough that sometimes makes wearing my CPAP mask difficult, adding in the intense exercise regime and you have the makings of a very sleepy me. And with the body flow class, I find that, while I still have worries and stress and such, they do not seem to be seeping into my dreams the past couple nights. I hope that will continue and that it’s showing me that the yoga portion of the class is allowing me to release that from my mind and body. I am hoping that this release will re-awaken my creativity and allow me to write again as well as sew. Time will tell.

Moving, Moving, Moving

A few days after I joined the gym, I fell really ill. Some virus that caused me to have severe vertigo. It caused me to be gone from the gym for a week.

I did go back and took a water aerobics class called aqua deep, which is entirely in the deep end with a flotation belt on. Wow it was a good workout. Lower impact than zumba, but still a good workout that I’d like to continue taking. Only problem? It’s the same days as zumba, only an hour before. Tomorrow I am going to attempt to take aqua deep, cut out a little early to change and head to zumba to see if I can do both.

 Tonight I did my circuit training then went to a class called body flow. It’s a class that combines Tai Chi, yoga and pilates. I am DEFINITELY going to stick to that since it works out that the days I am doing circuit training they also have body flow in the evenings. If I choose to do it on Saturday as well, then I will take it in the morning. Within the first half hour, I was dripping with sweat, but I felt amazing. And this way I am getting in the yoga/pilates I had wanted to do.

I am going to start doing pictures as well of my progress, so will take one tomorrow or this weekend as my starting picture. I need to figure out how often I am going to take these pictures.

Moving, Moving, Moving

A few days after I joined the gym, I fell really ill. Some virus that caused me to have severe vertigo. It caused me to be gone from the gym for a week.

I did go back and took a water aerobics class called aqua deep, which is entirely in the deep end with a flotation belt on. Wow it was a good workout. Lower impact than zumba, but still a good workout that I’d like to continue taking. Only problem? It’s the same days as zumba, only an hour before. Tomorrow I am going to attempt to take aqua deep, cut out a little early to change and head to zumba to see if I can do both.

 Tonight I did my circuit training then went to a class called body flow. It’s a class that combines Tai Chi, yoga and pilates. I am DEFINITELY going to stick to that since it works out that the days I am doing circuit training they also have body flow in the evenings. If I choose to do it on Saturday as well, then I will take it in the morning. Within the first half hour, I was dripping with sweat, but I felt amazing. And this way I am getting in the yoga/pilates I had wanted to do.

I am going to start doing pictures as well of my progress, so will take one tomorrow or this weekend as my starting picture. I need to figure out how often I am going to take these pictures.

Getting back on track has started...

So I joined the local fitness club last night and took my first Zumba class. ZOMG. It kicked my ass something fierce, but I felt amazingly exhausted afterwards.

I was going to try and go to yoga today... but I slept till 10:30, which is when I would've had to leave in order to make the 11 am class. Next week. It's probably better that I didn't go this week, I don't want to overdo it my first week and not go back.

As it is, I'll actually be doing Zumba 4 times a week at least this month. I have an appointment Sunday at 5pm with my fitness coach to get started, which is a kick start program offered with my sign up fee. Then Zumba is at 6pm. Then Zumba again Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

I considered going to the spinning class on Tuesday, but I think if I tried to do that after 2 days in a row of Zumba... well I'd be dead. So I think I am gonna go to pilates on Tuesday, maybe I'll try the spinning class on Thursday. There might be on on Saturdays too so maybe I'll try and go to that then go to the Saturday yoga class.

But just the Zumba alone... cause the normal schedule is 3 days a week... will get me in shape real quick. And it's fun. I feel awkward doing it because it's so different and more intense then bellydance, but I'll get it. I'm moving, that's what counts. And as I learn and get more in shape, I won't feel nearly so awkward. What is nice is that I'm not the only one. There are people taking the class of all shapes and sizes, races, gender, plus you can tell there are people who really don't have any rhthym but they don't care, they are moving.

Starting anew to be back on track

As of this Friday, that's what I'll be doing. I've done pretty poorly at... well everything. But on Friday I am signing up for a gym in the area that offers zumba classes and other dancing exercise classes. I'll also be able to take pilates and yoga, plus have access to a pool for water aerobics and general water related stuff. So this is good. This will help me, I think.

Discouraged

I am so behind in the things I want to do to lose this weight and I have not been exercising. I need to do SOMETHING. This is frustrating beyond all imagining.

Bah!

Okay I have not been nearly as good with the getting up in the morning and walking thing as I want to be. I didn't walk yesterday and I didn't this morning. I DID, however, use my shake weight this morning. My arms want to detach themselves and beat me. Going to try and take a walk after work if I can. Depends on how I feel. Have been feeling run down. I need to get on a better diet/vitamin regime to help with that. Focus, focus, focus!

*yawn*

It's going to take some getting used to and to feel any major difference, I know, but I did get up and take Anubis for a walk around the park. One circuit around, from the parking lot, is .88 miles. So almost one full mile. My goal in the next few weeks is to do the entire circuit from the parking lot around and do the main square of the park twice. That would be just over 1.5 miles. I think that's doable.

If all goes well, maybe by the end of the summer my goal can be to start at the parking lot, go around the park three times and back to the car. That would end up being just over 2 1/4 miles. That's another goal that I think is doable by say the end of August.

Now to just break in my new walking shoes. I might have to get bandages to wear on my heels till I do and maybe some better socks that are strictly for the purposes of wearing with the walking shoes. Because my goal by the end of this week/beginning of next week is to also walk after work either at the park or over at our fitness center on the treadmill.

And my next goal after that is to eventually get to a point where at least one of those circuits around the park I will be doing by jogging. But I am not going to rush myself there because otherwise I will give up and I don't WANT to do that.

Once I get this regime down, I'll tackle my spotty eating habits.

Getting back on track

I've been very bad about updating this and health stuff in general. I've been watching what I eat for the most part, but exercise hasn't been at the front of my mind. We were hiking each weekend, but that fell by the wayside for right now since just before my mom came to visit in April. Then we got busy preparing for Media and we've just not gotten back to it.

I did, however, finally get back to exercising. I walked 20 minutes on the treadmill on Tuesday and yesterday as well as today, I took Anubis to the park and we did a lap around the trail there. I've been wanting to get up in the mornings to do that since Anubis is crated all day now, but I haven't felt up to getting up early enough to do so. I haven't decided if I am gonna try tomorrow or if that will be my goal starting Monday.

I also want to start using my shake weight in the mornings as well, which will be something I'll start when I start doing the morning walk with the pooch. I need to find something to work on getting rid of the massive gut I have. But it's a start.

Woo!

Wore my C-PAP machine all night for the first time in over a month. Woohoo!

Setting Goals

Setting goals can be good. So I am going to put mine in writing. Maybe if I have them staring in my face, I'll get them done. And these aren't just diet/weight loss either because some go hand in hand with the diet/weight loss. I'll also add to them as I go.

Immediate goals:

- Lose 20-30 pounds by Media*West (Memorial Day weekend)
- Start hiking regularly
- Bring my cholesterol down
- Follow a more Meditterranean style diet
- Get my passport
- Work on costuming for conventions
- Attempt ziplining
- Stop falling back on bad eating habits
- Clean apartment more regularly
- Increase my dance abilities

Long-term goals:
- Lose 150 pounds- hopefully by trip to Jamaica in January/February 2011
- Buy a two-piece bathing suit for Jamaica trip
- Get my third and fourth tattoo
- Begin performing bellydance more often

Something new for the abs

So one of my biggest weight problems... well all of it is, but the weight I am THE most conscious about is the mass of belly fat I have. So I try to find ways besides standard cardio to get rid of it, but otherwise I just resign myself to sweating and losing it that way since crunches don't do much. Well I get things in email from Prevention and an article on "7 Greatest Moves for Flat abs" caught my eye. Normally I roll my eyes because I constantly see things on how to flatten your belly, usually it revolves around lots of crunches. I read it anyway to see what it said and what caught my was the line in the article about targetting your deepest ab muscles.

I figured it couldn't hurt to read further and it gave some interesting exercise ideas that I am going to try. Apparently these moves work the deep, transversus abdominis muscles, not just the surface muscles that are hit by crunches. And it went forward to couple with some customizable cardio routines. I picked up a stability ball to help with the moves, though I had wanted one anyway. Other suggested "items" are a cloth belt (like from a bathrobe) and a yoga matt. Here are the moves suggested, and I did copy and paste these from the article:

Ab Vacuum
The move: Wrap belt around waist at belly button level, tying loose ends. Kneel with hands on floor below shoulders, knees beneath hips, and back flat. Breathe in deeply and expand belly to press against belt. Exhale, draw belly button toward spine (belt will loosen), and hold for 5 to 10 seconds (continue to breathe as you hold). Repeat 5 to 10 times.

Core Pulse
Main Move
Lie on back with arms at sides, legs extended. Engage abs and lift head, shoulders, upper back, and arms a few inches off floor. Inhale as you pulse arms up and down an inch or two for a count of 5; exhale, arms pulsing, for a count of 5. That's 1 rep.
Make It Easier Do the move with knees bent as much as 90 degrees.
Make It Harder Lower legs toward floor, then pulse. The closer they are to the floor (without arching your back), the more challenging the move will be.

Elevated Plank
Main Move
Place forearms on ball, fingers interlaced, and extend legs straight behind, supported on toes. Exhale, pulling belly button toward spine, then hold for 30 to 60 seconds, back flat and body in a straight line. Rest 30 seconds and repeat. Do 3 times.
Make It Easier Do plank with forearms on floor.
Make It Harder From plank on ball, alternate bringing knees toward chest for 10 reps per leg.

Double Reach
Main Move
Lie on back, knees hugged to chest, head and shoulders lifted. Exhale, engage abs, and extend legs forward to about 45 degrees while reaching arms back. Inhale and pull knees and arms back in to start position.
Make It Easier Keep knees bent as you extend legs forward.
Make It Harder Lower legs to just 2 to 3 inches off floor.

Core Lunge
Main Move
Stand with feet staggered, left foot about 3 feet in front of right, and hold stability ball at chest level, arms extended. Inhale, engage abs, and slowly lower, bending both knees to about 90 degrees (keep front knee behind toes). Exhale and, with control, stand up and raise ball overhead, keeping arms straight (at left). Repeat, lowering ball as you lunge.
Make It Easier Do the move without holding ball.
Make It Harder From lunge position with knees bent, rotate to left, right, and back to center to complete 1 rep.

Toe Dip
Main Move
Lie on back with legs over hips, knees bent to 90 degrees. Exhale, engage abs, then slowly lower one foot almost to floor, using abs to keep back from overarching. Return to start and switch legs.
Make It Easier Plant one foot on floor; lift and lower one leg at a time.
Make It Harder Squeeze legs together and lower both feet simultaneously.

Ball Balance
Main Move
Lie on ball, hands and toes on floor. Exhale and pull abs in to stabilize, then raise right arm forward and left leg back. Breathe and hold for 10 seconds, using ab and back muscles to keep ball steady and body in a straight line, then lower. Repeat with opposite arm and leg. Do 5 times on each side.
Make It Easier Lift arm only for 5 reps, then repeat with opposite leg. Switch sides and repeat.
Make It Harder Hold raised position as you write the alphabet in the air with extended arm. Switch sides and repeat.

Of the moves, those where I would need to be on my back, I will start doing those on my bed. I have issues with my lower back having a deep, sharp pain shooting up which is why I can't do crunches. I think it's a combination of my weight and nerves being pinched. I have stretching moves to work on.

Here are some suggested belly-blasting intervals to swap in with standard cardio (swimming, jogging, walking, cycling). They suggest, with the standard cardio, that you alternate 20 seconds of vigorous intensity with 40-second recovery at a moderate pace. And whatever activity you pick, focus on pulling your belly button to your spine to target your TVA throughout.

Time	WHAT TO DO
0:00-3:00	March in place to warm up (level 4-5*).
3:00-3:20	Highs And Lows (level 8-9) Stand with feet hip-width apart, hand at sides. Bend knees and squat down to touch floor, then reach up overhead, rising onto toes, and lower to repeat.
3:20-4:00	March in place (level 5-6).
4:00-4:20	Jumping Jacks (level 8-9) Jump, landing with feet wide, arm overhead; jump again, bringing feet together, arms at sides.
4:20-5:00	March in place (level 5-6).
5:00-5:20	Knee Pulls (level 8-9) Balance on right leg, knee bent slightly and raise left knee forward to hip height, then immediately extend it behind you, touching toes to floor, and repeat. Bend arms and swing them in opposition. Switch legs the next time you do this exercise.
5:20-6:00	March in place (level 5-6).
6:00-6:20	Claps (level 8-9) Hop and lift one knee at a time toward chest a you alternate clapping hands under the elevated leg and overhead.
6:20-7:00	March in place (level 5-6).
7:00-7:20	Side-To-Side Shuffle (level 8-9) Bend knees and hips into squat position, arms bent in front, and shuffle: 5 steps to the right 5 steps to the left, and repeat. (Take fewer steps if space is limited.)
7:20-8:00	March in place (level 5-6).
8:00-8:20	High knees (level 8-9) Jog in place, lifting knees as high as possible in front of you.
8:20-9:00	March in place (level 5-6).
9:00-27:00	Repeat minutes 3:00-9:00 3 more times.
27:00-30:00	March in place to cool down (level 4-5).

*Effort level on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is sitting and 10 is all-out sprinting.

I figure it can't hurt to try this and attempt to stick to it. That's going to be my biggest issue. We'll see.

Huh

Huh. Yes, long time no post, but I've not been the best in my health endeavor. Working on it.

However, today I noticed something. I was bad and went to McDonalds for breakfast, bringing it to the office. Right now, I am having issues with sleepiness coupled with sinus issues as I am still getting over a cold. While I feel better, healthwise, from the cold, it's a PITA.

I'm getting off track.

The last two days, I have been bringing in a single hot pocket to make for breakfast and a day before that I had toast. Monday I had McDonalds again. Each day I took my fish oil pills and my vitamin. The three days I did not eat McDonalds, I had no issues with feeling really tired. While I had the sinus pressures, it was manageable because I didn't feel as tired.

So my conclusion?

I need to stop eating fast food.

I knew this anyway, because I desperately need to watch my cholesterol on top of the weight loss, but to have it driven home because I am now noticing that it is affecting how tired I feel? Not good!

I know I will have slip ups and have it every once in awhile, but this is a definite step to show me that I need to bring something with me instead of stopping. It'll be cheaper in the long run too.

No More Excuses

I've not updated in awhile, for that I apologize. I had a momentary lapse of forgetting about it. I have days like that.

I spent the majority of last week sick, then snowed in due to the blizzard we got here on the East coast. So I only made it in to work one day last week, Friday, which was also my birthday.

I've actually been feeling pretty good of late, but Valentine's Day has always depressed me. This year was no different. Mostly, though, it was body image that had me down this year and had me reflecting on what it is that keeps me from busting my ass to lose this weight.

I don't want to hurt. Sore muscles, stretching things to a necessary hurt point, etc. I keep saying I want to get back some of the flexibility I once had and go beyond that for performance level stuff, but I am doing nothing about it. I hold back on workouts because I don't want every inch of me to ache.

No more. I've made a concious decision that, in order for me to get where I want, I need to suck it up and commit to the hurt. I'm not going to go out of my way to injure myself because I did too much, but I also know that I need to really work my muscles and my body to get in a good workout. Yes, I am going to hurt the next day, but I need to keep pushing forward. My body will adjust and will start to kick itself into gear what I want it to do.

Stretching will come next. To help alleviate the pains I'll feel, I need to start stretching more. And not just stretching to ease sore muscles, but working towards stretching my muscles so I have that flexibility again. I used to be able to do the splits with my right leg forward. I am just shy of being able to do that now. So that means doing them and stretching the muscles so I can. Then I'll work on stretching so I can do the splits in other directions too.

I also want to work on stretching the tops of my thighs and my back so I can do laybacks when dancing and work towards doing floor work in bellydance.

I know all of these things are going to make me hurt, but I will listen to my body if something is too much, but I will also put it through its paces so that I can work through the pain and gain the strength and flexibility I want while losing the weight.

I need to stop falling back into a pattern where I don't do something because I don't want to worry about sore muscles. My body can take it, I just need to make it now. No more excuses.

*somersaults*

Start of a new week! I didn't update except once last week. Was just one of those weeks where nothing was going right and I wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep away everything. This week isn't starting out *much* better, mostly because of the tired feelings. But I know why. (Stupid female body)

Tonight is another night of dancing. Woohoo! Last week was great. Everyone is having fun, they are excited to learn and we are moving, which is what matters to me. However... that was the extent of my exercise last week. I totally flaked out on anything more. Last week was just a bad-ish week. I came off of a bad week at school, and while I did better with getting my assignments in, I just was so out of it and not feeling up to things this weekend that my grade will suffer slightly as I didn't get in any participation points.

However, I did go shopping on Friday once I had money. This is a good thing because I got things to start eating better, though I need to go back because the fish I *had* before is freezer burned so it's no good. And I need to get some chicken.

But yay food. I knew today would be my start day. I originally wanted to get up and take a walk with Anubis, but went to bed way too late. Woke up later then I intended to even do stretches and such, so this morning was not so good. However, I made an egg white omelet with fresh spinach and mushrooms. Had two slices of multi-grain toast with Brummel and Brown "butter", which is a yogurt base, is low in calories and has no cholesterol. A bonus for me.

I also took my fish oil pills and my vitamin that is good for people with cholesterol issues, which I do. Right now I am eating some red seedless grapes and a handful of brazil nuts. No idea yet what we are having for lunch, but I have carrots for a snack later and some almonds to have before dance to get the protein.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll get up the energy to go for that walk. I do know that I need to workout after work. Will be starting that up this week and may throw weight training int his week too.

OMG MY STOMACH IS SHRINKING!

Definitely a good thing, I know. A nice step, to me, in the right direction of weight loss. I've been noticing it for awhile, but today I got a salad from SaladWorks. Don't get too happy, it was a create your own with the pasta as a base and eggs, turkey, chicken, cheese and shrimp. Very protein and carb heavy. However, I only ate about 1/3 of it and the multi-grain roll that came with it. So I know what I am having for dinner tonight.

Dancing tonight! Woo!

Combat fat!

Foods that work for battling the bulge:

1. Almonds- Almonds are high in alpha-linolenic acid, which can speed the metabolism of fats. 12 per serving or 3 oz. a day works.

2. Berries- Vitamin-C loaded fruit such as strawberries and raspberries can help you sizzle up to 30% more fat during exercise. A vinaigrette blend that can be made is 1 cup of berries and 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar.

3. Cinnamon- Sprinkling 1/4 teaspoon on food can prevent a postmeal insulin spike which occurs after you eat and signals the body that it should store fat rather than burn it.

4. Mustard- The spice that gives mustard its color, tumeric, may slow the growth of fat tissues. Use instead of mayo and sprinkle tumeric on cauliflower and roast for a tangy side.

5. Oranges- Contains fat-torching compounds called flavones. For the biggest payback, snack on slices or drink freshly squeezed OJ with the pulp. (Actually I love the pulp. One of my favorite things about fresh squeezed OJ. I'm one of those that buys the extra pulp juice at the store)

6. Soybeans- Rich in choline, a compound that blocks fat absorption and breaks down fatty deposits. Edamame here I come!

7. Sweet potatoes- High in fiber, which means no drastic insulin jumps and less fat packed onto your hips. Bake a small sweet potato and think of two bars of soap as a portion size. Top with a dollop of lowfat or nonfat cottage cheese.

8. Swiss cheese- Calcium-rich foods reduce fat-producing enzymes and increase fat breakdown. Swiss cheese is a heavy hitter in the calcium department.

Top Tips for Flat Abs (Eating Required!)

Snagged from this article:

1) Go on an abs spree
Grouping all your ab exercises together can deliver better results than switching back and forth between various body parts, according to Nicole Stewart, a pilates instructor in Los Angeles. Working your abs to the "burning" point delivers a sizzling stomach.

2) Feast on a little fat!
A smidge of fat in your diet can actually help your midsection get svelte. Studies suggest that foods rich in monounsaturated fats—including olive oil, nuts, seeds and avocado—can help prevent the accumulation of unwelcome tummy fat. See 8 superfoods that combat fat.

3) Try teamwork
Toning up and slimming down doesn't need to be a solitary pursuit. Grab a pal for this exercise: Lie on the floor with your legs straight up in the air, says Akin Williams, a group fitness instructor at Equinox Fitness Clubs in New York City, who created this move. Ask a buddy to command you to bring your legs up and down randomly (saying, for example, "Right leg down, left leg up" and "Both legs up") every few seconds. Use your ab muscles to follow her directions, keeping your lower back pressed into the floor. Do this for three or four 20- to 60-second sets, resting 1 minute between each set. Then switch and you be the leader. These random commands trigger a rapid contraction of your muscles, tiring the more easily sculpted areas of your abs, so "you see better results in less time," says Pete McCall, an exercise physiologist in San Diego for the American Council on Exercise. Hey, what are friends for?

4) Tone abs while you burn fat
Heart-pumping activity triggers your body to convert abdominal fat to fuel, research shows. Aim to do 30 minutes or more most days. Squeeze even more belly benefits from your stint on the treadmill by ramping up the incline, or relying on your core muscles to keep you upright on the elliptical (grip the handlebars, but don't use them to support you!) to engage your core, says Joanna Stahl, group fitness instructor at Equinox Fitness Clubs in New York City.

5) Try the Dragonfly
Start on all fours, a weight in each hand. Extend left leg behind you in line with body; extend right arm out to side at shoulder level. Keeping left leg lifted, curl weight toward chest (see the move). Straighten arm for one rep. Do 12 reps. Switch sides; repeat.

6) Find your balance
A great way to tighten and tone your core? Give yourself a stay-steady challenge. "Strength moves requiring balance work the tough-to-reach transverse abdominis more effectively than traditional ab toners do," says Robert Sherman, a trainer in Rockville, Maryland. Use a folded bath towel, a BOSU or a pair of balance pods to make it hard to find your footing for this move, called the Lunge-Up: With left foot on pod or towel, lower into lunge, knee over ankle, thigh parallel to ground, right knee bent with heel raised, hands on hips (see the move). As you straighten left leg, push off ball of right foot, bringing right thigh in front and parallel to ground, balancing on pod. Slowly return to start. Do 12 reps. Switch legs; repeat.

5) Bend those knees
Add a tummy-toning balance challenge to traditional squats by doing them on one leg, as Roxy pro surfer Kassia Meador swears by. Do two sets of 12 reps on alternate days for abs that make waves.

6) Do the ab-up
A side plank sculpts flat abs fast by focusing on obliques, the muscles that wrap around your middle and hold you in. Lie on left side, resting on left forearm and left hip, knees and feet stacked, right arm at side. Lift left hip into a side plank (see the move). Lower and touch left hip to ground, then lift back up, holding abs in tight, for one rep. Do 20 reps. Switch sides; repeat.

7) Go bananas!
The fruit contains 422 milligrams of potassium, which helps limit belly-bloating sodium in your body. Talk about peel appeal! Another source: four stalks of celery deliver 416 mg of potassium.

8) Do bench presses
Extending your arms during the pec-perking exercise causes your ab muscles to contract, toning your abs as well as your arms. Add two sets of 12 reps to your usual routine.

9) Chill out
Increased levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, can lead to excess stomach fat, research shows. Try delegating work duties, pursue a hobby you find relaxing, whether it's knitting or jewelry making, and make laid-back lunch dates with buddies to lighten your mood—and slim your middle!

Blah is Blah

I've been slow in updating this, though this week at work has been just insane, coupled with homework and I am a rather busy person it seems. Though this week with emotions/stress, I am also a very down person and it's affecting me adversely.

I am trying to motivate myself to up the amount of exercise I do. I want to start burning more calories and increasing my cardio workout while adding in weights, but I've yet to get the motivation to do so. I don't know if it's because I am working out alone and I don't have someone pushing me by saying you can do it or what.

I also want to find the best ways to burn fat. Unfortunately my diet remains horrid because I am so strapped for cash that I can't do a good shopping trip. I want to switch to a diet where I am eating primarily fruits, veggies, whole grains, olive oil and fish, with the spare servings of eggs, meat, chicken and cheese. Milk is always going to be a constant in my diet because of how much I like it and it's one thing I can't get away from, though my consumption has gone down a lot. And I drink skim milk.

I know that a lot of my issue too is that I see no results and therefore I get extremely discouraged very fast and I want to just say screw it. I am trying my damndest to not do that now, but oh is it hard. I just need to continue on, but I have been feeling so increasingly tired of late and I don't know why. Maybe it's the weather and I need to eat some brazil nuts.

Some things are worth the discomfort...

If I can find the nerve to do it, I will post weight and measurements tonight, because I forgot the paper that has my measurements on it. I know my hips are the largest portion of my body. I was so bummed last night too when I took them. My THIGH Is larger than some people's waist! My THIGH! *sigh* That was rather heart wrenching.

My workout last night kicked my ass, too. I had been doing this "weight loss" course on the treadmill. Essentially staying same incline, I just did a slower pace for the "rest" section and a higher pace at the "work" section. So I was doing 2.5 mph walking for rest, 3.2 mph for work. I decided to change it up and do a set speed on one of the other courses that changed incline periodically. I set it at 2.5 mph to start and at first, I was like "I don't think this is gonna give me a workout."

HA!

By ten minutes into the 30 minute workout, I was definitely feeling it. It was making me work for it. Each incline was 1.5 minutes long, and by the time I got to the end, I was ready for the 0 incline. And to push myself further, I did the first 30 seconds "normally" then I upped the speed to 3.5 mph for the last minute and jogged for a minute straight. Now, for me, being so overweight plus just getting back into working out? That was a feat. Especially after already feeling just how much that workout kicked my ass. So I think I am going to start going through each "course" of the treadmill doing the set speed and then trying to jog the last minute. Eventually I want to increase the length of jogging and/or the intensity of the incline.

I thought about adding in weights as well last night, but I am going to hold off on that until either next week or the week after. Monday starts dancing again and that's gonna be fun. Alida's mom is back in the hospital, so if she's still there on Monday and Alida and Dem can't make it, I'll still use the space to practice the choreo I do know, because I want to teach at least one of the choreo routines I know to Roo. Roo won't be at dance on Monday because she's having dinner with JT, but that's cool. I'm gonna do something special the following Monday since that'll also be Roo's birthday.

L & C might make it, but if they can't, dance, dance, dance to the music I go. And I think I am going to start watching the weather for the mornings. I might start taking Anubis for an early morning walk to get my body jumpstarted and that way I can start to intensify working out by doing a morning workout as well as one at night. We'll see how things go.

I might post food later tonight, or later today, depending. Starting to use SparkPeople.com again to track food. I need to add in exercise as well.

I am mildly concerned that my sleep patterns have adjusted to the CPAP machine and causing it to be a moot point. A couple times last night I woke to find my mouth was open. I have a full mask so I should be getting the full effect and that shouldn't happen. I need to clean the machine and perhaps get a different set of pillows to see if that helps. Maybe get some sinus medicine as well, because I could be having sinus issues that are causing blockage, which would lead to my mouth opening. However, my throat is not quite as dry as it was, so I don't think I am snoring.

I can definitely feel the difference, though, when I use the machine at night vs. when I don't. I had a bad sinus night the night before, so I had it on for an hour before I took it off for the night and I woke up feeling on the tired side. I wore it all night and despite the waking up issues, I feel a bit better than yesterday. So unless it's just a night of "No, can't do it at all", I need to make myself wear the thing every single night.

Bah wah?

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday that was a bust. Last week they drew blood to check my lipids since my cholesterol is on the high side. However, I got to the doctor's and they went to pull my test results... only to discover that the lab didn't run the results for my lipids. They even made sure they wrote down that's what they wanted, they did, so they called the lab. Lab basically said "Yeah, you did, but we didn't run them."

...

Hoookay. Anyways, since they didn't have my results, they re-scheduled me to get more blood drawn, which I did this morning, and then I will go back next Friday to do the follow up. I did get some stretching exercises from the doctor to help with the issue I am having in my leg. He said it sounds like I am having some issues in my lower back that is causing some burning down the side of my leg, but it's only concentrating on one side. So he gave me some stretches to do and said if that doesn't help at all, we'll figure something else out. He's not concerned it's a large problem, it's just an uncomfortable one for me.

Actually looking forward to Monday. Well not the work part, but I am looking forward to getting back to dancing. Though it'll be interesting because *I* will be the one leading the "class" LOL. But I can't wait. I've missed dancing. I'll be doing some added "work" on the off dance days in order to make sure that I am prepared to continue teaching as I go on Mondays. Whee.

Quiet, quiet

Been kinda quiet on this front, which is no real surprise to some. I have moments of being quiet and things have been as such so far. I relaxed this weekend, mostly. We went to the Pennsylvania Farm Show on Saturday. Froze our asses off waiting for the shuttle bus. Did a ton of walking, which is good because after a Burger King breakfast, some deep fried mozzarella cubes and a milk shake, that walking needed to be done! I was cranky all day for whatever reason, probably because I hadn't slept well and my knee was just aching. It was doing one of those wonderful things where it felt like I needed to pop it, but I knew if I did it would be a painful pop that would just make it worse for the rest of the day. So I dealt with that pain for two days before it finally worked itself out. On top of that, my right leg was acting up and that's the leg I injured last March while dancing. It flares up every once in awhile, which sucks.

In GOOD news, I have dance space now! I am one of those that needs a space to go to when it comes to dancing to keep up with it, plus Alida, Roo and Dem have expressed interest in learning and I know enough of the basics of bellydancing to teach them as I learn from my DVDs to teach them more. I figure this is a very good motivational thing for me to get my butt in gear. Plus I have two co-workers that are interested, so each Monday we are going to use the community center at work as a dance studio to workout once we move all the furniture out of the way. The only time the day would change would be if the community center needs to be used for apartment stuff or one of the residents needs it, then we'll just move to a different day. It's free space that's most unused, so I am putting it to use. Besides, I have this crazy idea that maybe by this summer, we could turn an evening a week into a second session that would be offered to the residents if they so wish as a community activity. Or once a month. I would have to talk to the resident manager about that. For now, we start with Alida, Roo, Dem, C, L and I.

Still trying to get up the nerve to post my weight and measurements. Maybe soon. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so I'll know for certain how much I currently weigh. And I need to get my measuring tape from Alida's to take my measurements. I know I want to be totally honest on this journal, but not entirely sure yet if I am REALLY that comfortable with posting that particular intimacy about my struggle. Maybe putting it on in the public "eye" will help me. Who knows.

Until later!

Tips for Boosting Brainpower

I have been having memory issues of late, mostly short term stuff. Almost like I just can't retain anything and it's been EXTREMELY frustrating because I've always been a person with a fairly decent memory. Granted, I can still recall situations that happened at cons a few years ago, but trying to remember something as simple as what I was going to do before I got distracted has been difficult which leads to me being frustrated. I get these emails from Women's Health about things and I decided to make this list becaue it helps boost brainpower and it seems fairly easy.

1. Dance, Dance, Dance- this should be fairly easy as I want to start bellydancing again more seriously as well as just wanting to have a time that's almost like a drum circle where music plays and we just dance no matter how dumb we look.

2. Visit the gym- something I am going to start doing by going to our fitness center across the street for the complex I work in. I have free access to it, dammit, I need to start using it like I was back in June when I was going at least 4 days a week religiously.

3. Crack some eggs- I think this goes along with the meditterranean diet I want to do as well. An egg a morning won't hurt. Just can't overdo it. That is a weakness of mine that's slowly fading because my stomach can't handle the overeating anymore.

4. Keep On Moving On- it's suggested to not multi-task as much because it's like kryptonite to brain matter. Focus on projects one at a time for an hour each, but if something takes more than 60 minutes, set aside time to come back to it so you can re-charge working on something else.

5. Hydrate your mind- Two things with this one. 3 or more 4-ounce glasses of fruit or veggie juice has shown to decrease the chances of Alzheimer's disease. Score. Plus, as much as I like water, sometimes you got mix it up for variety so you don't get bored. V-8 Fruit Fusion is probably THE best invention ever. You get a full serving of fruits and veggies together and it tastes damn good. Then I tend to drink water like a fiend while at work since they provide bottled water.

6. Take a YouTube timeout- This surprised me but it makes sense. Essentially watching videos that will make you laugh because laughter counteracts stress. Need to do this on my breaks.

7. Hit the Hay- This goes without saying and it's slowly getting better for me, though I have some bad nights when I can't handle having the CPAP mask on, or I have nights like last night where apparently at some point I woke up, turned the machine off and took the mask off. Have no memory of doing it, but my guess is I got up for whatever reason and didn't put it back on or I noticed I was having a night where it was one of THOSE nights and took it off so I could sleep. It's not the easiest thing to wear at night, and while I am generally used to it, there are those nights where I can't because of a stuffed up nose or something. Surprisingly, my left nostril seems to be the clearest at night and that's the side I have pierced.

8. Disconnect the cable- They suggest only watching TV for 2 hours a day because it seems to up the ante for people developing Alzheimer's later in life. The goofy side of me wonders if drink fruit and/or veggie juice so much cancels this one out. Highly unlikely if it's on this list.

9. Raid the Spice Rack- Use rosemary on side dishes. Can help reduce the risk of stroke and shield brain cells from free-radical damage. Cinnamon, tumeric, basil, oregano, thyme and sage can also protect the brain. Actually, I have heard that cinnamon also helps those with diabetes as well as prevent it in those at risk for it. Something I need to get back to. I used to have applesauce or yogurt and sprinkled cinnamon into them each morning. Just a teaspoon works. The article also suggests sprinkling 1 teaspoon of it into your coffee. I bet the same can be said for tea. Though it does suggest a teaspoon of rosemary into tea.

10. Study Another Language- Buh wah? Now this one is interesting. Apparently a study was done and it was shown that bilingual seniors kept the worst effects of dementia at bay for 4 years longer than those who didn't know another language. It appears that learning a second language increases the density of gray matter in the areas of your brain the govern attention and memory. Makes sense. Guess this just increases my urge to learn Italian. Need to dig out my CDs again for the car. :-D Hadn't been listening to them because I have such a short commute, though I do drive for lunches every day too...

11. Floss Your Teeth- ... Huh, didn't know that one, but I guess it makes sense that gum disease can cause issues as it travels through the blood stream to other vital organs. Looks like I need to floss more. I need to get to the dentist soon as well anyway, stupid hole in my tooth.

12. Go Green- Drinking 5 or more cups of green tea per day can make you 20% less likely to experience psychological distress than if you drank less than a cup. Hm. Looks like I need to up my intake of green tea. Between the water, veggie/fruit juice and tea they are suggesting, I'm gonna float away...

x-posted to LJ

Beginning a New Journey...

One of the scariest things a person can ever do is to be completely honest with the things that they do. I had considered doing something like this with the start of the new year, which I have tried to dub the start of a new and healthier me, but I didn't follow through. Then I saw that a friend of mine decided to do the same idea (I am sure a lot of blogs popped up with the same purpose, seems to be the way of things in the technology age) and the more I thought about how I want to progress this year, the more I realized a blog would help me focus, especially as I try to really buckle down this time.

So first, some info... I am Midalah. It is an online name, one that I have adopted as a stage name as well as one I most identify with anymore and have for almost 9 years now. Prior to that, I was Jourdana, or Jordy, a name I do still answer to. I've been Jourdana/Jordy for 12 years to many. I am a geek, I fully admit that. I enjoy doing things in fandom, I go to conventions, I dress in costume, I like to sew, I love to write. I role play and I bellydance. I am 30 years old, will be 31 in February. I live in Pennsylvania and I have an adorable puppy.

Currently, I am single. To me, right now, it's not painfully so. I was in a relationship for four months and we recently broke up due to wanting different things out of life. It was the first time I have ever been the one to break up with someone, but doing so just before New Year's made me realize that I wanted to focus on nothing but me in 2010. That begins with losing the weight I've been plagued with all my life and becoming all around healthier. I figure that if love comes my way, it will, I can't force it and I won't. I need to focus on me for awhile.

I am going to be as honest as I can in this blog. Posting weight, perhaps posting pictures of my progress. We'll see on that second one. Posting measurements as well. One thing that I know for me is that I am curvy. I am always going to be curvy. I'm one of those people that is going to be on the heavier end of things even once at my goal weight. I won't be a size 2. I don't even know if I will be a size 8 when I am done. I'll be happy to be a size 10 or 12. I will have moments of frustration, moments when I can scream and rant. There may even be days where that's all this blog will have, but it's one step in this journey I am taking.

A part of me can't believe that I am actually doing this, but there have been times I considered trying out for "The Biggest Loser" and it would be no different then being on national television and taking this journey. Maybe this will be easier then that because I can hide behind a computer and not face millions watching me.

So the journey begins...